What can I do to get my children to move out of the house?

There comes a time in every parent’s life when they wonder how to get their children to move out of the house.

When your child wants to move back home
What can I do to get my children to move out of the house?


Suggestions for Adults

  • Encourage them. As parents, we know how hard it is when our kids don’t make us proud, but we need to keep encouraging them.
  • We should encourage and support their good choices, but hold them accountable for poor ones.

  • Be willing to kick them out if they aren’t doing what you expect from an adult living in your home — even though it may be very painful for both you and your adult child. 
  • Also, tell them that if things don’t change after some time has passed (which depends on each family), you will have no choice but to ask them to leave.
  • It isn’t fun having conversations like these with adults, because sometimes adults just go ahead and do whatever makes sense at the moment without thinking about consequences or listening to wise counsel from people who care about them.
  • But our kids really want to please us and often will work harder than we think if given reason enough.

Suggestions for Parents

Why is it so difficult for parents and their adult kids to keep living under one roof? Dr. Thomas Joiner, a Professor of Psychology at Florida State University and author of Lonely at The Top:
  1. The High Cost of Men’s Success , offers some advice for parents on ways they can help them prepare their child for moving into their own home or apartment.
  2. Parents need to be ready for their child leaving by getting used to being alone again — even though you love your child — especially if they have been living with you throughout high school, said Joiner.
  3. He also suggested that parents not set up conditions in which they are dependent upon their child doing chores around the house, such as requiring rent money or helping with groceries.
  4. According to Joiner, If you set those kinds of conditions then all of a sudden when [your child] moves out you’re like ‘where did my son go?

Suggestions for Children

If they are honest, and don’t just say something random because they think it will please you, it will be easier for them to find their way.
If they want an apartment or condo of their own, suggest that they start with a room in a shared house and if that goes well, upgrade over time if possible.

Get advice from family or friends who are parents about whether you should give them furniture or help with down payment. And in any case, be sure you have good communication channels open so there is no mystery about why your kid has issues with moving out.

You might also ask yourself why you aren’t eager to see them leave; maybe you too may need to work on letting go.
SOURCE : Yasoquiz



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